Expected Parenting
Stress Factors

Hi, this is Jennifer, the founder and Chief Empathy Officer of ASK Therapy for Moms.

 

I want to personally take a moment to acknowledge the brave step you just took by taking this self-assessment as a first step towards mental and emotional wellbeing.

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Let's jump in.

 

So, what does this all mean as it pertains to your mental health? 

 

These additional stressors might be showing up as:

 

• sleep deprivation

• fear of not being a 'good enough' mother

• general worry about the newness of taking care of a newborn

• normal stress between you and your primary partner

• some financial stress due to staying at home or needing to return to work early

• some identify stress as you find your new 'normal' as a mother

• Transition stress from baby phase to toddlerhood

 

Do any of these examples ring true for you? Can you relate?

 

First, I want to point out that you are already doing amazing given all the changes associated with motherhood. As a mother you are the CEO of your home, without the financial rewards. It is expected that eventually the accumulation of parenting stress will catch up. The good news is that based on your results, a few little tweaks will likely help to reduce some of the additional stress in your life and you will you be on your way towards optimal health and wellness.

 

Over the years, I have noticed that these following supportive actions have helped moms:

 

• Have your birth story heard and held in its fullness (you just went through the most vulnerable and heroic experience of your life - you deserve to be celebrated).

• Rest A LOT in the immediate postpartum and have people help out around the house - allow yourself to be served and practice receiving.

• Get nourishment - lots of clean water, herbal tea, good food, massage, rest, and love.

• Stay naked with that baby for as long as you can - seriously!

• Get your hormones checked - the thyroid can often be out of balance in the postpartum causing symptoms of postpartum mood dysregulation.

• Join a mamas group to reduce isolation (even if online)

• Get off social media and watch The Social Dilemma

• Find time to reflect, journal, and be mindful

• Be creative - decorate, garden, paint, sing, write, dance, play

• Get lots of hugs and kisses and give them (hold a hug for longer than 2 seconds)

• Ask yourself - What does motherhood mean to me? Who am I as a mother?

• Move your body

• Laugh and cry

 

Check your internal dialogue and ask yourself the following questions:

 

• What am I hearing myself say about the stressful situation ?

• What am I hearing myself say about MYSELF as it pertains to the stressful situation?

 

These two simple questions have proven to be incredibly effective in helping to bring awareness of your internal dialogue and stressful thoughts, and to help change the way you are perceiving any given situation. Usually, what we are challenged and activated by are the negative core beliefs that we hold towards ourself.

 

For example:

 

Nearly every mom I work with holds a core belief or core fear: 'I am a bad mother' or 'I am incompetent as a mother' or 'I am inadequate as a mother'.

 

When you believe the statement: I am a bad mother, most likely you will feel fear, guilt, shame, sadness. These feelings are not comfortable to feel and so, we push them away. We do not want to FEEL the emotions associated with believing this belief. And so, we experience the distress in our body as symptoms of anxiety or depression.

 

How do you stop believing the stories we tell ourself?

 

This is where a therapist or a transformational life coach can be of great support. Working with a therapist or coach doesn't have to mean that there is something fundamentally wrong with you or your brain, it can also mean that something is off balance in your life, brain, heart, and body, and your therapist or coach is there to help you get your system back on track.

 

Typically this requires learning some specific skill and tools to help with mindset and emotional regulation.

 

You can begin by asking yourself the following:

 

How do I want to FEEL about this situation?

And what do I WANT to believe about myself as it pertains to the stressful situation?

 

These questions help to 'prime' the brain for the new potential to exist. I call this: The See it, Feel it, to Believe it process.

 

Ready to get started? 

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If you are not ready to schedule a therapy session, we have a few low risk entry points to get you started right away. You will continue to receive supportive and educational emails (and you can cancel at anytime).

 

However, if you are a DIY kind of mom and you want to learn some new emotional regulation skills right away, I invite you to check out the foundational program below. This program was designed to work with my coaching clients to help them learn the foundational skills necessary to support their deeper healing journey. We all need foundational skills to support our wellbeing and manage our stress better (more on that later)... 

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Before you go, please check your inbox to ensure you are receiving our emails. I don't want you to miss out on the juicy bits of content about mental health and stress management. 

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